What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I don't think brook has ever known best
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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