Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
