I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
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