I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
