i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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