We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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