I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
