Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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