just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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