Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
