Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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