Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I cannot find my penis.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize