"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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