Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize