She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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