walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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