is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
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