he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
