he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
