just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
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