There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
