Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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