So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
