You don't have asthma, your pregnant
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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