i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
