I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
