So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
