I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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