dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
