I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
So apparently I’m into choking now
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