Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
What a fucking waste of an outfit
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
