I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize