That's intense
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
