i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
dude. I can hear the air.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
