Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
