C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
