i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
