My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
