You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
