Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
