it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
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If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
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As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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