just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
