Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
