$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
