I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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