CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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