i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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