He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
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