your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Randomize
