Have you finally orgasmed yet?
She is in my trunk
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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