I feel like I'm in dance class right now
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
