i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
