I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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