Plan B is the new Plan A
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
