Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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