singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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