I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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