She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
