you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
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