I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
