Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
