He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize